For some time now, I’ve been attracted to dropping the vertical line from the band name. And lately, as I’ve been coming across it on the website, I find myself erasing it. I just like the name better as one word now.
I can’t remember when it started, maybe it’s all the @elitefitrea handles everywhere (since social media sites can’t handle the vertical bar), but even when I had my logo designed a few years back, I left it out. I’ve been thinking about why, and I think I have an answer.
In the past I thought of ‘elite|fitrea’ as representing the space where my potential and my depression came into contact with one another. I conceptualized them as separate forces competing for dominance in my life’s outcome: on the one hand, all the potential of a tall, handsome, & very smart person; on the other, an unexplainable lethargy, depression, and suicidal impulse which could only be temporarily kept away with ever-escalating habits of self-destruction.
That was the past. Today, I’m 6 to 7 years depression-free. And although it successfully devoured much of my potential, I am still alive, healthier than ever, and I have lots of potential to go. I often remark that I am a healthy man with a sick man’s memories. And I have a wealth of self-knowledge that I never could have accumulated under different circumstances.
Anyway, I think I’m a much more integrated person now. The depression and the potential are one thing, rather than competing forces. And so, elite|fitrea becomes elitefitrea. Not a big difference on paper, but it tells a larger story if you know how to look.